Weight Loss and Rewards

When you see someone losing weight (and blogging about it), 95% of the time they have some sort of reward for themselves. At X amount of pounds lost, they'll get their nails done. X amount for a purse, hair, make-up, etc. It's a way to reward themselves for persevering and making their loss happen.

I've been thinking about my own weight loss and how do I reward myself for losing it?

At first, it was a baby. Now, I'm not so sure I want a second. Paige has been a handful recently so having a second child isn't as desirable as it was before. I already have a Coach purse, I don't do make-up or fancy shoes. I won't buy clothes as a reward as I'm going to need them anyways.

Then it hit me. Our wedding pics.

We have very few wedding pictures of just Marc and I. It's all with our wedding party, family, and friends. Out of the few that we do have of just us, there are only a handful I've ever printed out - just because I didn't like how I looked in them. I look at recently married friends and their wonderfully posed photos and I'm jealous.

So, in my quest to lose weight (and taking a second baby off the table), I'm challenging myself to lose the weight. I'll treat myself to getting my wedding dress altered (or buy myself a new, cheap one) and then Marc and I will splurge on the photographer and have a wedding picture re-do.

And if you're interested, check out my Pinterest board to see the locations I'm looking at, new wedding dresses if alteration is off the table, and poses :)

Legacy.

i'm okay with it. its my story - not my legacy.

  i get to decide what my legacy is :)
                                         -Momma Brown

Legacy.

How will I live on when I'm not here? That's easy - in my daughter. She is my legacy. Everything I do now is for her, even if I don't realize it.

I want her to remember me as a mom who was out playing with her, not out of breath. Not needing to ice the knee. I want her to have memories of me like I have of my dad - active, healthy, and there.

I haven't talked about my weight loss lately because there hasn't been any. My vacation this past week threw everything out the damn window. I drank, ate leftover birthday cake, napped, ate fried seafood and pizza. I did nothing to help myself.

But when I went grocery shopping this weekend (BY MYSELF....it was AWESOME), I stocked up on veggies, fruits and lean meats. It was such a good feeling to open my fridge and see healthy options.

Now's the time. I weigh 238 pounds. If I lose 53 pounds, I'll weigh 185 pounds and Marc's agreed to baby #2 at that weight (he also wants me to run a 5K in 27:31...HA).

My legacy starts now.

Road to BlogHer| Week Something?

Welcome to my life.

I start something with every intent of sharing every week and then I forget....yep.


So I'm still off Medifast. Things have been crazy hectic here and I know I need to get back onto the plan to get myself back on track to losing weight, but I've been doing other things to help myself.

I'm back to 3+ liters of water every day and I significantly cut my soda intake. I know the soda needs to go, I just can't give it up (yet).

I'm writing, writing, writing. Everything that goes in my body gets written down. I'm also paying alot more attention to serving sizes and making sure I stay to those guidelines instead of eating until I'm full.

I signed up for the BlogHer5K in NYC in August. WTF?!

I bought a jogging stroller from a friend and have been doing little walks around the neighborhood with Paige. It's nothing impressive because I'm not at the point where I can jog yet but it's better than nothing. However, after about a mile, Paige wants OUT. I'm using MapMyRun on my phone to log my workouts. If I walk around the circle and then down to the park (and back), it's about 1.3 miles. Yesterday I walked to the park, let Paige run around and play, then walked back. I'm hoping to obviously increase my speed and distance but as I keep reminding myself...atleast I'm out and doing it.

Road to BlogHer| Week 2

It's been an interesting week, to say the least.

I had to stop Medifast for a few weeks :( The power steering motor in my car went (and if you've ever driven an old car - 1980 or older, you know how much it sucks). Thankfully, it's a GREAT workout for the arms (right, Kelly?)

I've started writing down what I'm eating and I'm still using the Medifast/TSFL app on my phone to keep me on track for eating every 2-3 hours. I also started the C25K program (FREE app on the 'Droid!). I've also done Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred...color me crazy ;)

I haven't stepped on a scale, but I feel the difference in the way my pants fit (loose!!)

I met with an orthopedic surgeon regarding my knee - she's not cut happy and is willing to try medication to control my pain to see if that works first...and she encourages all this working out. My previous surgeon was all about PT and telling me to stay out of the gym.

Here's hoping that everything keeps going and there's a difference on that scale next week!

Road to BlogHer12| Week 1

After my pity party last week, I had a great chat with one of my BlogHer12 roomies, Mel.

She's trying to lose weight too and my post hit a nerve with her. After chatting, we decided to work towards a goal of each losing 30 pounds by August 2nd. Now, there's about 21 weeks left til we meet with Shannon (South) and Shannon (North) for the first time EVER. So that works to be a bit over 1.5/2 lbs roughly per week. I can do this. I have an amazing goal to work towards. As long as I lose that 30 pounds by August, I will be 2 pounds away from under 200 pounds for the first time in years.

Shannon (North) is also in on our fun...she's offering us each a $30 gift certificate to her shop as extra incentive...I've got my eye on these beauties right here.

Here is my "Before" pic...enjoy?

Also, check out Kelly on Fox25 in Baltimore talking about her weight loss and success on Medifast! Seriously Kelly, I cannot even describe how amazing it was to see this. You have inspired me and I am hoping to meet you at BlogHer12! I'm sorry that YouTube videos won't show up in my blog posts - check out the link to Kelly's interview here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebPjtnGHusk

Inspired

Wow. I am inspired.

You may have seen my post yesterday. I needed a moment to freak out. I needed a moment to cry because to me I had failed.


Then Kelly tweeted this gem:

Thanks Kelly.

And Stephanie shocked me.

These cupcakes better be good.

And check out Stephanie's Medifast thing here

So...not only did I get a love tap from reality, I have the support of a great, to-be-met friend, who's bringing me cupcakes. Offering advice for what helped her succeed. And is willing to do the 30 Day Shred with me. I'm thinking she's crazy...

Thank you, Kelly. Stephanie. Laura. Michelle. Mel. Hubby (who was actually going to comment!). 

When I said I had a great support team, I wasn't kidding. And boy did they come to cheer.

Today? Today I am a failure.

I wish it was a lie.

I was doing so good on Medifast. So. Good. I lost almost 6 pounds in a week on the plan. Then I lost my grip.

Dinner out because we're lazy. Forgetting my meals at home when heading to parties or work because I woke up late or put them in the wrong bag.

Grabbing a coffee my "usual" way (tons of cream and sugar) because I'm adjusting to my new work schedule. Not remembering when I last ate and my TSFL app not working on my phone...do I eat now or wait? Then forgetting to eat.

I sit here now, chastising myself. How can I be so weak, so stupid? What is my addiction to food? Why am I opposed to healthy? Marc can do it. Why can't I?

I can do it. I need to do it. I want to do it. I've screwed up. Brought myself out of the fat burning stage. Well, no more. I am on track. I am in the mindset. I've got a great support team. They will understand. They'll help me get back to where I need to be.

This healthy weight isn't about looking like I did in HS (although that is a perk). It's not about the things I've promised myself as motivation. It's about being there for my beautiful daughter. I want to be there for her through it all. 

This is for her.

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Back in December

Back in December, I won two weeks worth Medifast meals from Stephanie and Kelly.

Being on a modified Medifast diet (3 of their meals a day instead of the 5), I lost about 4 pounds in the two weeks I was on the plan....not bad considering I wasn't 100% sure what constituted a Lean & Green meal, and the fact I was missing out on two of their meals as well.

I was really into the plan, but couldn't justify the cost to myself. Then this happened.

And I realized something. I got comfortable being the fat girl. 


I had found the clothes that worked best for my body, I know what styles to wear, what to avoid, and what sizes I wore it what store. Looking at my wardrobe, I'm safe. I'm content. I'm fat.

I'm ready to change that. I spoke to Marc (while Medifast is NOT expensive, it's alot of money upfront). And we agreed that upon a pay day, I'd make my first month order for Medifast.

I ordered it on Friday (2/17) and received it on Tuesday (2/21)...with a federal holiday in between! I started the meals on Wednesday. I have a health coach, Michelle, who is amazing. She's quick to respond to my emails where I ask 529284732 questions and giving me some recipes to change up some of the recipes. She's checking in on Twitter to see how my day is going. She's another supporter of my plan to become myself, and she makes this process so much easier.

So, once a week I'll be posting an update as to how I'm doing - and hubby is out buying a scale rightnow so I'm stupid excited to be able to track my progress :)

My Husband

I've talked about him before.

Meet Marc - the greatest guy in the world, most of the time.

He's an amazing husband, who teared up during our wedding

Who cried when our daughter came into this world

(the pictures of us holding Paige as a newborn are all on my old computer and we haven't transferred them over yet....)

And who, as of last Friday, weighed 198 lbs. A number he hasn't seen in a decade.

I can't even begin to express how so very proud I am. He put himself to work - an exercise routine, a change in his eating habits (spinach, Greek yogurt, and low-fat meats). He does still do the occasional treat of fast food or pizza, but he's healthier for himself. For me. For Paige. And I look forward to having him around for a few more decades :)

Medifast: Days 4-9

So I have been using Medifast for 6 days now...and I fell off the train already.

I am currently doing 3 Medifast meals, 2 "other" snacks and one Lean & Green meal/day. I do GREAT with eating my meals and drinking my water when I'm at work. But this weekend? Well, this weekend was NOT successful.

On Saturday my friend, Karen, and her son, Will, came for a visit. We decided to bring the kiddos to the mall - it wouldn't be too crazy, plus it's free to window shop! We first grabbed lunch at Pizza Hut. I did order water as my drink (which is a HUGE step for me because i'm a multi-sodas a day type of gal). I also limited what I ate to a satisfied feeling, instead of being stuffed. Thankfully, we walked around the mall at a decent clip and also chased the kiddos around the mall "playground" which helped burn off some of those calories consumed.

Sunday? Well, Sunday went a bit better. We went up to my parents' house to celebrate my birthday. They grilled kabobs (which were delicious) but then we had ice cream cake. And not just any ice cream cake - Carvel ice cream cake. Crunchies and all. That's a weakness.

I did have some (it's my birthday, I had to celebrate) but declined bringing the left over home with me...as much as I wanted to!

Now that I've been back at work, I'm back on track eating my meals, hitting my water goals. I have a few more days left of my Medifast winnings and I'm torn about keeping up with it (it's a big up-front cost) or switching to something like Special K which I can split up the cost over a few grocery trips.

The good news is that my hubby says it looks like I lost a few pounds :) Which reminds we really need to buy a scale.

Medifast: Days 1-3

Thanks to Stephanie and Kelly, I won 2 weeks worth of Medifast to try.

 Stephanie, Kelly, and Jenni have all had AMAZING success with Medifast and their blots (and pictures) are proof.

 So how am I doing on it? Well, it's been tough. I decided to start on December 26th. I've had the meals for a week or two, but didn't want go dive into changing my habits when a majority of my caloric consumption comes on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Now the usual way to do Medifast is 5 meals per day plus 1 Lean and Green (usually for dinner). Since I won 21 meals per blog (42 total) I decided to do 3 Medifast meals per day, 2 "snacks" and then my Lean and Green for dinner. My breakfast is usually a hard boiled egg or 1 cup of oatmeal, I eat my 3 meals at work (Orange blend, Chocolate chip cookie and vegitarian sloppy Joe), have a yogurt or small handful of unsalted peanuts as my 5th meal/snack.

 Right now, I'm going through the headaches that accompany diet changes (Stephanie says it's like your body is going through detox). I've been consuming TONS of water and have had a small bowl of chicken broth (per advice of Steph, once again). But let's talk about HOW Medifast tastes. I was skeptically with having to add water to a powder to create a cookie or Sloppy Joe. I've had the real deal and it takes a lot more than water to create them.

I do need to work on getting the right mixture of water to mix (I don't have enough measuring cups to spare to leave some at work. Everyone in my office says that my food actually smells good. The taste is a bit different then what you're used to but I eat it with some water which helps me adjust to the taste

I don't think it's supposed to be so dry....

Super yummy! I finished this so fast without realizing it!

And apparently my cookie didn't want to save :( But it looks delicious.

I mean, seriously, I can eat a chocolate chip cookie AND lose weight?!
Heck. Yes.

I've only been on it since Monday but I'm noticing that my pants are just a tad bit loser. I'm only on day #3 and I'm already feeling a difference. And it feels amazing. I STILL need to buy a scale (yeah, it's been on the list for awhile) so I'll be sneaking to my in-laws to weigh myself to see the difference.

I'm so excited to be on this journey right now. And I am grateful for the awesome bloggers that are helping me along this journey.

I'll definitely be sharing more of my story as the next week and a half go on :)

Why?

That's a question I've been asking myself alot lately. Why do I want need to lose weight?

Well, there's a few reasons

Her.

Him.

My husband on our wedding day, Sept 2009 (left)

My husband at our family pictures, Nov 2011 (right
He's about 60 lbs lighter, and his weight loss journey really started in January of this year when he decided to kick his ass into gear.

And then there is this reason....Me.

Now maybe this is a unrealistic goal - I was (roughly) 150 lbs in high school. I always got weighed during the summer for my physical, but I played 5-6 days of basketball from November to March...needless to say that my weight fluctuated quite a bit at that point. This picture was taken July 26th, 2003 - when Marc proposed at Old Orchard Beach, ME. We had just graduated HS 6 weeks prior.

I look at this picture and I my heart breaks. Everyone says I USED to look beautiful. I had a flat stomach. I had thighs that weren't touching. I WAS pretty. Now? I'm 90 pounds heavier. I have a toddler that I can barely keep up with. A knee that I use as an excuse. BUT if I was 90 pounds lighter, my doctor says that I wouldn't have issues because my knee would be supporting less weight.


So, what's my problem?

I wish I could tell you. I wish I could pinpoint. Marc's lost 60 pounds since January, thanks to a diet of Greek yogurt, baby spinach leaves and a gym routine that would kick my ass. I have a gym membership. Do I use it? No. I don't like to go to the gym in the morning because then I'd have to shower at the gym before going to work (and Marc wakes up for work at 4, out the door by 5:15, not enough time to go before he's gone). I don't go after work because it's honestly too late for me to go, and if I went that late, I'd be up til 2/3 AM just amped up and ready to do something....anything.

You may have heard, I won TWO weeks worth of Medifast from Stephanie at Goober Monkey and Kelly at The Turnip Farmer. I've been reading through information and talking to Stephanie in preparation of 2 weeks of success. What I love about Medifast is the choices - their menu is pretty extensive AND they let you have flexibility with your Lean & Green meal (which we follow for dinner anyways). Instead of the Medifast 5 and 1, I'll be doing 3 and 3 (3 Medifast meals, 2 snacks and 1 Lean & Green....trying to make my free meals last longer ;))

I'm looking forward to starting and seeing what I can accomplish with a great support person (Hi Stephanie!!!) So why haven't I started yet? It's simple. The 24th and 25th are easily two of the three most calorie-filled days for me. We do Christmas Eve dinner with my in-laws and then Christmas Day dinner with my parents....helllllo turkey/chicken, lasagna, bread, cards and more carbs! I don't want to set myself up on the Medifast plan and then have to summon the will to ignore the deliciousness that would be in front of me those two days. I'll start December 26th (when I'll be too full to lift a finger).

So Today....

Today is Workin it Wednesday where I like up with Shannon from The Szem's. However, poor Peanut had other plans.

She's had a cold for a few days now, which quickly turned into Croup. (FYI, just because I was a kid does not mean I remember every known disease...I had to WebMD Croup. Scary stuff, yo). Last night was a long night with a call to the doctor for advice and a kiddo who wouldn't couldn't sleep. Needless to say, we got the pleasure of seeing her doctor today, and will again in a week (because of an error, her 18 month well visit was actually scheduled for after she turned 19 months - yay shots?). And while at the doctor's, we got a diagnosis of an ear infection.

I have to say, I'm pretty surprised with how "well" Paige is handling the sicknesses. Seriously. She's fussy and whiney, but she has her moments of being herself where she goes off to play by herself - only to return to me moments later crying saying "Up". I'm kinda glad she has two things at once, rather then back-to-back. Maybe this makes me sound like a bad mom but crappy feeling Paige for a short period of time versus crappy feeling Paige for twice as long? No thank you.

I'll be back with a REAL Workin It Wednesday post (hopefully where I can keep you aware of how my progress on two weeks of Medifast is going - haven't received it yet but thinking it should be SOON!)

Workin' It Wednesday

So this week hasn't been a good week. I think it's been the anticipation of this week that's undoing me.
I told myself I'd do my 30 Day Shred. I didn't.
I told myself to get back on track with writing down my food. I didn't.
I told myself I'd up my intake of water. I sorta did.

However, I want to concentrate on what I did do. I limited my sweets. I cut back on the energy drinks/coffee. I only ate when I was hungry after drinking something first. I also entered Kelly from The Turnip Farmer's Medifast giveaway...and I won! With that awesome win, I get to try 21 Medifast meals. **In case you haven't heard about Medifast, check out Jenni, Kelly and Stephanie. They all have lost AMAZING amounts of weight using Medifast. And I've followed their journey since they begun...inspiring!!**

So, soon I will get to try a week of Medifast - 3 Medifast meals a day, 2 100-calorie snacks a day, and a Lean and Green meal. Hopefully I will see some great success with that first week of Medifast :)

I cannot commit to stick to something with the thought of tomorrow - gravy, homemade stuffing, turkey, biscuits...oh the desserts! So next week, I WILL start my 30 Day Shred. I WILL write down what I eat. I WILL up my intake of water.

Workin' It Wednesday

This is supposed to be my new weight loss post, where I link up with Shannon of the Family Szem to share inspiration, tips on losing weight.

I'm having an internal illness battle though. It's called Baby Fever. And I've got it BAD.

Two (separate) close friends who were both in our wedding party welcomed babies 6 days apart. I spent this past Saturday soaking up the beauty of holding newborns. I've always wanted two kids. ALWAYS. I was the oldest of four, my husband the youngest of three. Knowing this, I could never have one child.

At first, I was completely thrilled with Paige. She wasn't a horrible baby but she wasn't the easiest going either. I had my battles (PPD, breastfeeding, etc) and at my 6 week postpartum check-up, I had them put in the 10 year IUD so that there was no chance of repeating our surprise baby.

Now, as Paige gets more independent every day, I miss that newborn. The one who depended on me for everything. The one who I could put on the mat and she'd still be in the same position when I turned around.

Hubbs and I had originally made a deal that when I reached my goal weight, we'd have a second. I have done things here and there to get towards that goal weight, but I've never committed myself. But now with the desire to add to our family so strong what do I do?

I'm eating better for me, for my future child. I'm making myself walk more and plan on getting back into a routine very soon. But do I want to go full steam ahead and lose my weight then have to deal with putting it back on to struggle to lose it again? That's simply what I do not know. And what time will only tell.

http://theszems.blogspot.com/2011/11/workin-it.html

A quick change

I know I've meant to post on every Monday about my weight-loss journey. However, several of my blogging friends are starting a blog hop on Wednesdays that we'll share our journey, tips, success and failures.

With that, I'm off to attempt to get myself moving for the day. We had a very busy, fun weekend that I'll be posting pictures from later on tonight!

And this is the post where I admit I need a scale.

So, that weight loss I mentioned a few weeks ago?

I'm still doing it, I swear.

I got side-tracked by 20+ inches of snow in October and life in general. But here's where I stand...

I've been tracking my food (for the most part) in a notebook. I'm not counting-calories-crazy but I want to make sure I'm eating the right foods at appropriate times (still working on this). I have picked up Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. It's supposed to take 20 minutes a day and after 30 days, you'll see a difference. This is something I'm hoping for!

I also, need to buy a scale. How am I supposed to know where I stand on weight loss if I haven't anything to measure it by?

So we'll start with the weight loss (and actual numbers) next week!

Take it off Monday: Week 1

Here we go. Take it off Monday: Week 1.

I am on a mission. I currently weigh *deep breath* 238 lbs. I have a deal, with the husband, to reach 185 lbs. Once I'm down to 185, we will have baby #2. That's a total loss of 53 lbs (such an odd number)!

I weighed about 150 lbs in high school. I was incredibly active - I played basketball 5 days a week and had a weekend job where I was on my feet and moving.

After high school, I intended on playing basketball at my college. In September 2003 (a few short months after I graduated from high school), I tore my ACL in a soccer game. One of the most painful injuries in my life. Due to my school schedule and how horrible shape my knee was in immediately after, my surgery wasn't scheduled til December. I then had a few complications in the months following the surgery. By the time I was "healed", I was so incredibly lazy and hadn't changed my eating habits, which resulted in my current weight.

So, how do I plan on losing 53 pounds?

Simple changes. Eating healthier, more water, and getting out for more exercise. I do have a gym membership, I just never feel like I have time to get there. My husband, by making smart changes, has lost about 50 pounds since January. I can't even begin to describe how proud I am of him. And now he wants me to join him (and we want to add a second kiddo to our family).

Check back every Monday, where I plan on keeping track of my weight loss, as well as any successes or setbacks I encounter. I plan on treating myself to a reward at certain weight loss intervals - I haven't decided at what weight and what my reward it, but I'll let you know.