Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Today? Today I am a failure.

I wish it was a lie.

I was doing so good on Medifast. So. Good. I lost almost 6 pounds in a week on the plan. Then I lost my grip.

Dinner out because we're lazy. Forgetting my meals at home when heading to parties or work because I woke up late or put them in the wrong bag.

Grabbing a coffee my "usual" way (tons of cream and sugar) because I'm adjusting to my new work schedule. Not remembering when I last ate and my TSFL app not working on my I eat now or wait? Then forgetting to eat.

I sit here now, chastising myself. How can I be so weak, so stupid? What is my addiction to food? Why am I opposed to healthy? Marc can do it. Why can't I?

I can do it. I need to do it. I want to do it. I've screwed up. Brought myself out of the fat burning stage. Well, no more. I am on track. I am in the mindset. I've got a great support team. They will understand. They'll help me get back to where I need to be.

This healthy weight isn't about looking like I did in HS (although that is a perk). It's not about the things I've promised myself as motivation. It's about being there for my beautiful daughter. I want to be there for her through it all. 


  1. don't beat yourself up, we need to talk! :) Take it one day at a time!

  2. Don't let this get you down. Pick yourself up and start again. Getting healthy is a lot of hard work. Take it one day at a time. Giving yourself the gift of health is the best reward/goal you can do for you and your family. Remember why you wanted to do this. I believe in you and you can to this.

    1. Thanks Michelle. I got caught up in the ease of eating out and just grabbing whatever. A kitchen re-set is on the menu for this weekend so that I actually see my food instead of the bad crap

  3. failure...thats a pretty strong word for a process that has barely begun.

    You've identified all of these things you did wrong. You've recognized that these were all things within your control. You've resolved to keep trying.

    Even though you might feel like you are quickly sinking while attempting to tread water, in my eyes, this is all progress.

    Yes, you made some very poor choices. I think you need to ask yourself WHY you chose those options. Dig deep Shaun, ask yourself why you are afraid to succeed (not just get healthy but SUCCEED). I can practically guarantee you that your poor choices are not about lack of sleep, temptation, being weak and they certainly aren't from being stupid - your poor choices are based in fear and how your life will change when you follow through on goals. You are human, you will falter. Success comes from truly learning from those mistakes and owning up to hard truths about yourself.

    You've only failed once you've decided to stop trying.

    I want to give you a challenge: Take negative words out of the dialogue with yourself. You wouldn't allow others to call you fat, lazy, stupid or a failure. Why are you calling yourself those things?
    You will be amazed how much will change in this process once you eliminate the negative commentary about yourself.

  4. Don't beat yourself up! You are already on the right track with wanting to make a change and the best part of getting healthy is that you can always start over! Everyone has setbacks and losing weight (for me anyway) is the HARDEST thing ever. You can do it! And you will :)

  5. Never ever forget to validate the progress you have made! Yes, you maybe made some mistakes, but what are you going to learn from it? In each mistake lies the opportunity for growth. We learn nothing if we don't falter. Food compulsion is something, I too, struggle with. By no means are you alone in this, although it can feel that way. Each day is a blessing to begin again...