Every once in awhile, I get the feeling that I'm overwhelmed. That I'm alone in this world.
I've battled depression off and on for the longest time. I was 8 years old in 3rd grade when I first saw a therapist and was on Prozac. I never really took the pills (long story there) and eventually convinced my parents to make me stop going.
In high school, I managed everything OK - I played basketball which was my outlet. Every once in awhile though, I'd have a complete breakdown. Tears, yelling, screaming and overall anxiety. It usually happened when I was overwhelmed from school, basketball, working, and the boyfriend (now husband).
I was depressed during college. I lived 4+ hours away from home; at first in a trailer park and then in the ghetto (seriously). It was what I could afford since dorms weren't an option. I worked 40+ hours a week and 5 classes. I honestly don't know how I did it. But I did.
After Paige was born, I had PPD. I toughed my way through it. My OB prescribed something...don't remember what it was. I barely used it. Shortly after Paige hit a year, The feeling came back. I got frustrated with Paige's neediness. I was petrified of being alone with her. My PCP offered me medicine which I took. The depression/anxiety wasn't going away.
The feeling is creeping back right now. It has to do with the stress of my first vacation coming up in June. Hubby is testing for a job as a Corrections Officer Trainee and if he gets it, it means potentially HUGE changes for us.
For now, I'll see if I have any refills from my PCP. I'll go back if I need to. And I'll concentrate on the good things coming soon - Paige's second birthday, vacation, and BlogHer12.
Good things.
Hi there! I'm new to your blog (found you through your guest post at ELF). I'm so sorry that you have to deal with depression. I think that it can often times feel very overwhelming being a Mommy and wife and that's without having to deal with depression on top of it. I hope that your medication helps. It's great that you are trying to focus on the positive. Seeing your little one's smile always helps :)
ReplyDelete