Monday, March 19, 2012

A Yearning

I dream of it every day. A baby in my belly and eventually in my arms. I want a sibling for Paige so badly. I was the oldest of four and while I didn't get along with my siblings, I eventually did. And I'd be stupid to deprive Paige the relationship.

I yearn for the day when Paige is a big sister. She's so helpful. So involved. She'll be amazing.

I'll get a chance to experience it again. The pregnancy, the birth, the first weeks, months of his life. The things I wanted to but gave up too quickly. The things I learned after they would should have been used.

It's my chance to try it differently.

There will come a day when Paige and her little brother (it's always a little boy) will be playing and I will hear "Moooooom, S.F. tore Barbie's head off!" {and yes, we have Baby Boy M's name picked out} and I will wonder, What was I thinking?! while heading off to diffuse another battle.

And I long for those days. I look forward to them.

Hopefully, eventually, they'll be here.

1 comment:

  1. :) we have a boys name picked out too, as an only child I want Lexie to have a sibling so bad it hurts; but we're not ready yet!